Perfect
by It's Light Not Jogan
Summary: Life isn't perfect. It's a lesson to be learned. And Hope, Vanille, Sora and Riku will now see what it means to be perfect, to be human, and what's the difference between the two. They will also learn that science isn't as fun as Hope says it is. T for safety, M/F, M/M. New World AU.
1. Prologue: Perfect

**Summary:** Such is life - you wake up to a "new day", do your thing, go to sleep. Up, thing, sleep, repeat. Life isn't perfect, it's just another stop on the way to death. There are highs and lows to life. Different people have different highs and lows.

Hope is a science geek, preparing for college - more to get away from his miserable life than for fun. Vanille is the new student from Australia, and she hides a big secret. Sora has tough times in high school and thinks it might be time to change them. Riku sees them all for what they are - human beings, very unlike his poster boy behavior. Life isn't perfect. It's a lesson to be learned. And Hope, Vanille, Sora and Riku will now see what it means to be perfect, to be human, and what's the difference between the two. Also, science isn't as fun as Hope says it is.

 **A/N:** I don't think warnings are in place because I have very set things I always do so.

Now, before you get down on me - this is just the prologue, and besides. I wrote this years ago. What is written here isn't what I believe in. This is an AU, after all. Also, everything the characters think **is their thoughts, nothing else**. I don't believe in what Light claims here, say. But that's what she sees from her perspective. So don't kill me. Also, a very dark story...

 **And to sort out familial ties and others:**

* Nora Estheim is Light and Serah's mother's sister. Riku is Hope's older brother. And Nora isn't dead, she has depression, which I don't really understand but I'll try to get it as right as possible. Riku and Hope also have an older sister, Alyssa (yes, Zaidelle, and let's say it's Nora's maiden name), who's in college and changed her last name because of parental issues. I'll reveal them further in the story.  
* Sora and Roxas are Cloud's kids from Aerith. After divorce, Cloud met Squall, who had his own child, Ventus (Ven's mother is unknown). Ven is younger than Sorox. Aerith's (infic) sister has a son, Vanitas, who is admitted to a rehab/mental institute for multiple suicide attempts. He's okay though. Vanitas also has two younger siblings, twins Hayner and Namine.  
* Kairi and Axel are two of five kids, the other three being Reno (who won't be making an appearance until I get to know him better), Yuffie and Yuna. Yep, quite the game mix, but it works. Their parents are always present (and are OC) which is why there will be a lot of interventions in the story.  
* Vanille and Fang are cousins. Vanille was raised in Brazil, but when she was twelve her parents got in contact with Fang's and they took her in, taught her to speak English, healthcare, everything. They are also related, albeit distantly, to Caius and not-so-distantly (second cousins) to Noel.

 **And that covers everything up. Enjoy.**

* * *

No one ever got it. Life isn't that simple. You have to be perfect at everything - sports, school, social life. Hope just couldn't do it. He wasn't perfect at anything. He quit soccer after twisting his leg, game after game, until being tackled by a player on the other team and then needing surgery and having his bones pinned back; He tried his best in school, still is trying his best, but it's nothing personal, he just sucks; And he is anti-social. His whole life he's been best friends with just one person, and that was his cousin Claire. No one liked him. They thought he was stupid. They hurt him, mentally and physically. Well, at least he's not sorry he's not perfect like Riku. Hope knows his place in this world - an ADD and socially awkward kid who can't do a thing for his own damned good. Then again, it's not his fault he's not Riku. Not his fault he never had a girlfriend yet. Not his fault he's Hope Estheim, not perfect.

Society expects you to be girly, to wear dresses and makeup and be ditzy and blond with big boobs and no brains. They expect you to fit the sexist model of girl men want around them. Girls don't go to the army. Girls must be nice and pretty and shut up. Claire isn't girly. She doesn't wear dresses and makeup. She's no man's dream woman. Her whole life she's been told she's doing the wrong thing, but who cares. Claire is no longer Claire. She's now Lightning. Strikes bright, then fades away. She can't be perfect. Her best friend is her cousin, who's seven years younger than her; She's no super-model, she's a soldier; If Hope isn't perfect, than neither is she. She can't be anything but herself, either Claire or Lightning. A soldier, a cousin, an older sister. Nothing else to her. She's not sorry she can't be perfect. No one is perfect.

No one should live in poverty, they say. No one should be sick or poor. But they do nothing about it. Vanille still lived in poverty. She's a girl, alright. She's not very smart, she's pretty, she's nice. But she's still poor. Brazilian favelas are terrible, and they're full of criminals and rapists. No one minds at all. She does. She's from a Brazilian favela. Vanille isn't sorry she's not perfect, but maybe she does. She likes Hope, who's perfect. He's smart and funny and nice and good-looking. And rich. That defines perfect in so many minds. Not in hers. In Vanille's mind, he's perfect because he cares. He's the only one who knows she's not okay. Not perfect. One slip and she's doomed. Vanille Dia Oerba lives in poverty, and no one knows. It's fine. She's a girl, alright. She's not very smart, she's pretty, she's nice. And she's just not perfect.

Society loves bubbly women, not men. Men are quiet, smart, collected. Women are jumpy and loud. But so is Sora. He's jumpy and loud and bubbly, and not very smart. He's hyperactive and optimistic. Underneath it he's just as sad as anyone else. Quiet and collected. But he tries to be optimistic, at least that. Men are attracted to women and vice versa. Sora loves Riku. He can't seem to like anyone else but Riku. He's not perfect. He tries not to be sorry for it, but he is. He's sorry for it because he can't be a man. He's dumb, hyperactive, loud and a flaming homosexual. But it's okay. He's used to being bullied. He's not his brothers. Sora's just a jumpy, stupid teen. And he's sorry he can't be perfect.

Women tend to be victims of bullying, not the opposite. They're raped and hit and called names, no matter what. But Kairi isn't that. She's been hurt so much she's the bully now. She knows no other way. Before everything happened, Kairi was friends with Sora and Ventus and Namine and basically everyone. Now her friends are only cheerleaders, and even then it's fake. She's also scared of saying she's bisexual, so she's getting to people who aren't heterosexual. That includes Sora, and Ventus, and Namine, and even her brother Axel. It also gets to Riku. Her boyfriend. They came out to each other as bisexuals, so she knows. But it still hurts her to know she hurts someone dear to her. All that is dear to her. She knows it's a shitty behavior, but she can't stop. She's just not perfect. She's not even trying.

In human nature men are quiet, collected, perfect in everything. They do well, have fine wives. Live perfect lives. According to these standards, Riku is a perfect man. He's sorry he's perfect. He's sorry he can't be his brother, who just tries for the sake of knowledge that he wants to acquire. He's sorry he can't be Sora, bubbly and fun and sweet and optimistic. Hope and Sora aren't perfect. Riku is. He's sorry for being perfect. For not having to acquire knowledge because he wants to, just for the sake of it. For being unable to smile 24/7 and just be cheerful and not worry about a thing. He sometimes wishes he'd be Hope for a day, even if most people would rather deny their connection to each other. He wishes he'd be his brother for just a day. Anti-social and nerdy and just unique. No one will mind him. He won't be perfect anymore. He's sorry he's perfect.


	2. Chapter 1: Secrets

Alyssa opened the door to Sora. Well, at least she could remember Sora. He was Hope's only friend since the move to LA - not that Hope had any friends to begin with. She couldn't keep up with Riku's rate of friend-making, though.

"Merry Christmas, Alyssa!" He greeted with his usual smile. "Is Hope home?"

"No, can't, must study" came the reply from upstairs.

"You heard the man," Alyssa said, pointing up. "I don't know what's gotten into him but Hope doesn't study."

"He just wants to graduate early and go to Stanford and get a degree in neuroscience before going to neurosurgery but I have a feeling it's more about getting away from this place and less about his degree. Is Riku home then?"

That was the moment Riku came running. He accidentally stepped on Sora's foot while rushing inside.

"Now he is," Alyssa said with a smile. "Oh, come on. Get in. I'm not letting you stay outside like this." Sora kept his big smile, although it faltered a bit. He got inside and headed to the living room. "Want anything?"

"A hot cocoa?"

"Right at y-"

"Can you make it like Nora does, though? No offense to you, Alyssa, but I prefer Nora's." 'I like it better when she's not locked in her room.'

Alyssa hesitated a bit. "Okay." She went upstairs and Sora turned the TV on. There was nothing really interesting so he settled on the only thing he deemed fitting, Pixar's Up. There were bangs coming from the upper floor. Screaming, too. As a regular house guest of the Estheims, Sora knew the meaning of this behavior. It still freaked him out every time Nora started losing it. The last time he brought Roxas with him because his twin, apparently, had a biology project to do with Hope, and then Nora lost it again. It was over something as small as losing her earrings, a pair she was going to wear to a party with Bart's colleagues, but a losing moment nontheless. Roxas was so scared that he told Sora the next day he was going to ask for another partner just so he wouldn't have to go through that again.

Riku joined Sora halfway through the losing moment. "Harsh, isn't it?"

"I've lived through worse," the younger teen said with a sigh. The fact that they didn't even need to say hello was incredible for Sora, being in love and all.

"It's the worst this week."

After a losing moment of fifteen minutes Nora came down, looking as relaxed and content as she usually was around other people. The boys were glued to the movie. They waited until the credits started rolling to start drinking from the mugs of hot chocolate that were placed before them.

"You really outdone yourself today, Mom," Riku said between sips. "With the behavior."

"Dr. Raines said I need to start going on a larger dose of Zoloft, Riku. Don't even think about it." She sat down and crossed her arms. "Hey, Sora. Hope's studying for that chemistry midterm-"

"I got that. I can hang out with Riku instead."

"What? No." The silver-haired woman covered herself up even more with her robe. "What I was going to ask is, why aren't you studying?"

"He's not taking anything with Hope," Riku said, not letting Sora a chance to open his mouth. Rapid knocks on the door came following as Hope, putting on a shirt, came running down the stairs and opened the door.

"Hey, Vanille!"

"Hey Hope," the girl said before being grabbed by him and rushed upstairs.

"Mom, we're going to be upstairs!"

"Alright, but no funny business!"

"You heard her, Vanille. No funny business."

"Can anyone explain that to me?" Alyssa asked after moments of silence. "Is that his girlfriend?"

"Hopefully she will be soon" came the answer from both of the boys.

"Hope has a girlfriend. I thought the day will never come."

* * *

"I'm going back to Australia soon." Hope stopped pacing and stared at his friend. "What?"

"No you don't. I know you told me they don't want you back, but I know you're still going."

Vanille was busy playing with Alexander's ears to pay attention to what Hope said. The young German Shepherd puppy was happy at the attention given to him. "It's not such a big deal, silly!"

"It is a big deal when your parents tell you they don't want to see you again, Vanille."

"You wouldn't know it-"

"My mother can't live through a day without pills and my father doesn't even acknowledge my existence. It's feels the same as is they would tell me to never show my face to them. My god, Vanille, you can't be that naive!"

"I'm not naive!" Alexander ran to hide under the desk. "I know what I'm doing!"

"So why are you going back to Rio?" Hope started pacing again. "Why? It's the wrong thing to do-"

"My mother is sick, okay? I'm going back to Rio to help her. Merry Christmas to you too, Hope." The redhead stood up and left the room. Then she turned back. "And Alexander too." And then she left again.

Hope dropped on his bed, grunting in frustration. Alexander hopped on Hope's chest, crushing him. He may have been just a puppy but he was as heavy as the dog the family had before. Vanille was going to see her parents in Rio. Hope was her man of secrets, he knew everything there was to know about her - and still she was going to see her family. The people who threw her out. The more he thought he understood, the less he actually had.

"Alyssa!"

Seconds later, his sister burst through the door. "Yes, sir! I shall answer to your every command!"

"Not funny."

"There was a girl who came here and left literally ten minutes later. Care to explain that to me?"

"I'm not telling secrets I swore to keep a secret." He wasn't lying. Hope was a terrible liar. It was one thing he didn't learn from Claire, thank goodness. "Can you make sure that I don't leave the house any time soon?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because otherwise I'll be in Rio in a few days and no one will know why, and I don't want to be there."

Vanille had two pets. Hope knew them. Two cats, one called Anima and the other called Hecatoncheir. If she went to see her parents, it meant someone had to take care of them. He didn't want to do it, though. He couldn't do it. For the same reason he didn't want to go to Rio after Vanille. And he didn't want to know why he was thinking about her pets at a time like this.

* * *

A pink-haired girl got out of a black car and headed to the Estheim house. Vanille was tired of following people with her eyes and ran to the pink-haired girl.

"Excuse me!"

"Yes?" The girl's eyes were very much like Hope's. Too blue and too angry, but very much like Hope's. "Can I help you?"

"I'm trying to go into that house..." Vanille pointed at the Estheim house. "My friend is there and I need his help-"

"You do know that this is an invites-only event, right...?" The pink-haired girl crossed her arms and Vanille looked at her pleadingly. "What do you need from there?"

"As I said, my friend is there and I need his help." She tugged her coat tighter. "I told him I was going somewhere and I don't know how to tell him that I didn't go there anyway..."

"Can I help, then?"

"What do you understand about this problem?"

"A lot of things." The girl took out a cigarette packet and a lighter. "I always do that to my sister. I wish I could stop." She lit a cigarette and put it in her mouth. "I can help. Believe me."

"Thank you, eh..."

"Lightning. Call me Lightning."

"Okay. I'm Vanille. It's nice to meet you."

* * *

 **A/N:** Vanille's other cat's name, Anima, means soul in Catalan, Italian and Latin and I'm sure it does in some other languages too. I had to reference Lightning Returns, obviously.

I want to update quicker (even though this is the only update so far) but I can't. I have a writer's block. Had one for a long, long time. So that. But I will update.


End file.
